When Routines Stop Working: How a Simple Shift Improved our Days

I thought I was ready for our family to travel. I had packed craft supplies, downloaded calming meditations and audiobooks, and loaded my Kindle with even more books. Yes, I really enjoy reading and so do my kids. But I soon learned that I hadn’t prepared well in the most important area – my self-care.

For the first several weeks, we moved frequently. Then we settled in a couple places for longer stays. Despite some struggles, we were mostly enjoying the trip. But the longer we traveled the more the constant change and lack of routine started catching up with us. A couple of my kids began struggling daily. I leaned on the strategies I had prepared, but sometimes, they weren’t enough – especially when sleep was disrupted. We had many rough days, and I didn’t always handle situations well. At times, I made things worse with my reactions.

One particularly tough evening, I reached a breaking point. While my parents watched the kids, I withdrew into intense prayer and tears. In that moment, I had a realization: I hadn’t been getting enough movement or time outside. The way we structured our days was kind of working for the kids but it wasn’t working for me.

We had been following a routine similar to our homeschool days in Canada – schoolwork in the morning, outings in the afternoon. But here, things are different. The kids had struggled with the heat and not having friends nearby, though they were making some. Whenever we tried to go out, at least one child would have a meltdown. My mom would take the others while I stayed back, prioritizing their needs over mine. It helped them, but I was running close to empty.

I couldn’t control the heat, my kids’ fatigue, or their afternoon struggles. But I could change our routine.

After talking it through with my mom, we decided to try a different approach. Instead of waiting until the afternoon, we’d go for a walk in the morning when it was a little cooler. Then, we’d eat and complete schoolwork in the afternoon, when the kids were less inclined to be outside.

The next morning, as we prepared to walk, one of them refused to come. They stayed back while Dad worked. Still, the walk was refreshing. When we returned, the child who had stayed behind had regulated and was ready to move on with the day.

This shift made a difference for all of us. The kids adjusted, and even looked forward to the morning walks. Schoolwork in the afternoon was getting done faster than before. Most importantly, I was more regulated and ready to once again sit in the hard moments.

This small change also made me aware of other areas I had been neglecting. With more intentionality, I was able to respond to challenges more calmly. There were still moments when I reacted more than I’d like, but I was also able to reconnect and repair with my kids. The days aren’t perfect, but they’re better.

Sometimes, when things feel overwhelming, the key isn’t pushing through – it’s shifting gears.