Connection in the Chaos
Sometimes it’s our job to come around the people around us and support them when life is hard, because we are not meant to live life in isolation despite what our individualistic culture would have us believe. There was a time when my brother was really struggling, first with a situation at work that had him feeling alone, under valued and alone. Now, he lives a few hours away, so visiting him and offering physical support is not something I am able to do regularly. However, around that time I had found a few memes that I knew he would appreciate so I sent them to him. He never replied but I didn’t worry about it. A couple weeks later, he stopped over briefly as he drove through. He apologized for not replying, but mentioned they had brightened his day. He also mentioned how his work situation was getting tougher, and not easier.
I decided then to do what I could to improve his day without adding pressure. I began collecting memes and scheduling them to send at random times. Due to my ADHD and my own chaotic life I’m not the best at remembering to send messages. So, I would schedule one a day as I found them – sometimes up to a month at a time. There was no expectation that he would respond. Sometimes he did, and often he didn’t. Occasionally, I would get a reply and we would go into a debate about something that had no bearing on real life. But it would distract both of us in a pleasant way. It would also remind him that I love and care for him enough to reach out.
One time, I accidentally scheduled a message for 1am, instead of 1pm. I happened to be up finishing up a homework assignment and smiled when I saw his reply that essentially said “thanks, I needed that tonight.”
Later on, he would go through an extremely hard personal situation while still working a difficult job. I didn’t initially know what the situation was, but I knew he needed extra prayer. I immediately started sending him memes again. He didn’t need to reply, but he later told me that those texts were appreciated. Are sending memes for everyone? Nope. But for him and I, they are a way that we let each other know we are there for each other. I still have a folder on my phone waiting for the next crisis. Or the next time I just want him to know that I’m thinking of him. It’s our way of letting each others know we’re there no matter what.